Blather

It's 2008 and all of a sudden I'm filled with doubt. I want to go back and examine every word, every comma, every plot point of my book. On the other hand, I want to tear it up and go hide somewhere. I want to apologize for taking up so many people's time with my drivel.

I think this insecurity is partly fed by a character flaw on my part - a deep wound in my self-esteem possibly inflicted during early childhood. But this insecurity is heightened right now by being part of this fabulous marketing group called Class of 2k8. Just like in the school days of my past, I feel myself drawn to the edge of the class as an observer. I watch the other kids - or in this case, the other authors - who are brimming with the self-confidence that talent brings, acting as leaders, connecting with each other and with the big publishing world out there. Of course, this might partially be due to the fact that I'm the lone Canadian in this group.

I wish there was an ultra-sound test for books in the making. I want to be reassured that my baby will be healthy. I want to hear its heartbeat, count its toes, and know that it will be ready for the harsh world that book publishing is. But I can't know this. I can only know that I did my best and that soon it will be judged. Then I must move on. I must write because I love to write and not because I'm successful or not.

On another note ... I've finished reading my first book of the year and would like to share just one quote from it. It's Slaughterhouse-Five. Vonnegut writes: "And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human." That's a theme in my writing so far - looking back. So what if it kills me. At least I've got Vonnegut's blessing. I feel better already.

Looking forward - even while I look back - to a great year! (Truly!) Next post I'm not going to blather on about myself. No! I'm going to talk about this fabulous of class of 2k8. So please come back.
-gabe

Word of the day:
human: susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of man's nature
(from Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary)

Happy New Books to us All!

2008 is looming large. I've been looking forward to it for so long. I got the 'phone call' from my publisher back in December/05, signed the contract in January/06, and have been antsy for my book to actually come out ever since.

Of course, I've tried to keep busy. I did re-writes, wrote a sequel (and now working on re-writes for that), and I've been busy learning about book promotion. I consider connecting up with the class of 2k8 to be a great gift. They are a passionate group of debut novelists and it's just so empowering to share this thrill of writing success with like-minded people. We all lead very different lives, in very different places, and yet - through the power of the internet - we are sharing this incredible trip together.

Lots of books under the Christmas tree for the whole family. I got my two wishes: Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five. (How come I've not read this before?), and The Whisperers, Private Life in Stalin's Russia by Orlando Figes (new release and I can't wait to get into it).

My two daughters' book gifts include: Unschooled by Gordon Korman (he's always been a big favorite at our house), The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie by Jaclyn Moriarty, Kenneth Oppel's Darkwing, and an autographed copy of Spider's Song by local writer Anita Daher (she's amazing!). And yes, I'll be reading their book gifts, as soon as they're done.

My husband got the edited sequel to Lord of the Rings, and my son ... my son ... got no book at all. He was raised on books just like my daughters ... so I don't know why he's no longer a reader. Maybe you just can't be a (video) gamer and a reader at the same time.

The weather outside is perfect for reading inside. Talk to you next year - in 2008! (Finally!)
Happy new books to us all!
-gabe