Imagine

I’ve spent this beautiful summer immersed in Ukraine’s 20th century troubles. I bookended Maya’s Memories, an excellent locally-written memoir, with Erin Litteken’s two recent best-selling novels, The Memory Keeper of Kyiv and The Lost Daughters of Ukraine. Made for some dark headspace. 

The fire-bombing of Dresden, as portrayed in the second half of The Lost Daughters of Ukraine, seemed particularly harsh. With friends affected by the wildfires around Kelowna, I’ve been quite aware of the side effects of smoke. My friends had to evacuate their homes and find shelter elsewhere … worried that their homes might burn. Imagine also being hungry, homeless and unable to trust those around you.

Bundesarchiv_Bild_146-1994-041-07,_Dresden

Perhaps I just have too good an imagination. Perhaps too much of a bleeding heart. Which reminds me of Marilyn French’s novel, The Bleeding Heart, which in turn reminds me of  French’s Her Mother’s Daughter, both of which I read years ago but which had a powerful impact on me. Time to reread, perhaps? Strong women characters. Men bleed on battlefields. Women bleed in other ways.

Litteken’s The Lost Daughters of Ukraine portrayed relentless suffering. From Soviet to Nazi occupation to indiscriminate bombing by the Allies and years of homelessness. It was difficult to read and I’m sure it was difficult to research and write. But it was even harder to live through. 

My weekly English sessions with current Ukrainian refugees, escaping a new war, reinforces the printed stories I’ve been reading. Every day, news headlines tell of further atrocities ... of lives turned upside down, of families separated, of uncertain futures. It keeps happening. 

Litteken’s two novels, inspired by family history, must have been a relief to get out. I know that’s how I’ve felt with my family stories. In the Author’s Note, Litteken writes, “This story—much of it dealing with painful, brutal history and with my own family’s traumas—was difficult to write. But even in the midst of the darkness, I found glimpses of light.” (p. 400)  She goes on to mention that by ignoring national identities and seeing humans first, we can learn from the past. John Lennon said it succinctly in his song, Imagine. 

“Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion, too”

My friends tell me I should stop reading this stuff. That I should lighten up. Ha. I should. And I try. But I can’t ignore what’s happening in our world and I can’t ignore the past that has contributed to the present. Because it’s all connected. 

Marilyn French

I'm a bit behind - maybe it's because I love history -  always stuck in the past. By the time I catch up on my newspaper reading the events are no longer current - but history, too.

So it is that I just learned of the passing of one of my all time favorite writers - Marilyn French. She died May 2nd of this year.  I'd never read anything like her back in my twenties. She was so daring! My close friends and I shared "The Women's Room" - underlining and exclamation-marking certain passages. She was so astute - in our naive, young opinions - about relationships between men and women. I'll have to reread that book from my now more 'mature' perch.

It was much more recently that I found a copy of "Her Mother's Daughter" in a second hand store. I loved that book and again realized the power of writing. She just has so much depth and insight and even though I sometimes don't agree with what she says - I still love the way she says it.

Marilyn French - thank you - and rest in peace. Your words will live on in my life.

p.s. And .... she has a novel coming out this fall!

Marilyn French

As I mention in my profile, one novel that had a profound effect on me is Marilyn French's Her Mother's Daughter. Unfortunately, I lent my copy to a friend and will probably never see it again since we live far apart. That's okay. I got her favorite book, The Power of Now, by Eckhardt Tolle (okay, I'll admit I haven't read it and probably won't for a long while, considering how high my stack of 'to read' books is and this just doesn't appeal to me at the moment.) (Okay, another truth, I'm finally reading the seventh Harry Potter book and totally enjoying the escape - but it's slow going - my reading time has really been limited, as of late.)

But I've been thinking about the French book lately. With my mom in the hospital, mother/daughter relationships consume me. My novel, that's coming out this year, is about my mom. While it appears to be about a girl in the Soviet Union during collectivization, it's really my attempt to understand my mother's emotional and psychological world. Childhood events shape who we become as adults. As my mom falls deeper and deeper into being a ninety year old child, I become more aware of her emotional damage.

My aunts went through the same external events as my mom. But they were younger. Perhaps, an eleven/twelve year old, on the cusp of puberty, is much more vulnerable than a five year or even a sixteen year old. I don't know. Being alive and becoming a personality is a complex thing. 

Here's a quote from Marilyn French, "We lose, but we replace, we substitute: we go on. This is as profound a truth as that we lose and cannot replace, we die." She's an amazing writer.